I Love My Friends

Just got back from an awesome weekend in Boston. Let me tell you - when you go through something as scarring as a break up, you really find out who your true friends are. Since I have been back east, I have reached out to friends that I have known for different amounts of time and have kept in various levels of touch with over the years. I have been disappointed in a few of them and their lack of interest in following up with me after I initially told them about my ordeal. I am absolutely not one that searches for pity from people, but if the roles were reversed, I know that I would have enough concern for someone to at least follow up and ask how they were doing after some time went by.

Anyway, I have clearly been made aware of how important particular friends are in my life and how much I am cared about. It has been a great realization. It shows that in many cases, no matter how you may drift apart or not see someone for a while, the foundational roots of true friendship remain and manifest themselves at times of need. I feel fortunate to have been able to first-handedly witness such outpourings of care and support over the past couple of months. I will honor a few of them here by listing examples of how they have helped me. I hope those of you out there going through break ups of your own find strength from your friendships as well.

My best friend from high school - I have already mentioned her in another post and how pivotal she has been in my healing. She has never been a huge conversationalist, so I never expected much in the line of relationship advice. She came through for me in the way of using common sense and planning. She made herself available on her days off and organized a list of activities that I would possibly enjoy. In the early parts of my depression I was in no shape to make decisions, so having a list of options to pick from was invaluable. And I did end up doing many activities that were lots of fun that I wouldn't normally find time to do.

An old friend from elementary school - This girl is someone with whom I have always gotten along very well. However, during and after high school we went our own ways as life took us different places. After college when I was in town, we would try to meet up with the old group once a year around the holidays. She and I never kept in touch during the rest of the year, but she is someone with whom I can pick up where I leave off, which is nice. She became an incredible support for me in another way - by reminding me of who I was when we were younger and convincing me I still had a lot of spirit in me. Like I have said, over the years I have lost a bit of individuality through being in relationships, and at the end of my most recent one I have felt lost and empty and kind of confused about who I really was, on my own. Having an old friend to talk to that knew me at a time when things were innocent and simple helped me realize that the essence of who I am is still within my personal fabric. My "self" has been buried and perhaps altered a little bit over the years, but I have fundamentally remained the same good person that she knew back in the day. This friend has also always been very intuitive and into things such as energy healing. She introduced me to a woman who describes herself as a spiritual healer that she was sure would help me. I did end up going to a session and felt heaps better than I did before I went in. Whatever any person wants to believe regarding that sort of thing is fine with me, but I know that my energy was definitely out of whack because of my depression, and I can say with certainty that I benefitted from the work this woman did on me. Worth a try if you can find someone with the natural gift of healing.

A more recent friend from within the last decade - She is the one I just got back from seeing. She just found out through the grapevine that I was back east. She didn't ask for details, but assumed that my financial situation wasn't stellar. She took it upon herself to buy me a bus ticket to see her and paid for everything while I was there. She provided me with a much needed change of scenery. She and her girlfriend are lovely people and I felt so welcomed in their company. We went out to eat a couple of times, we went dancing one night. It was good to get back into nightlife a bit. My friend told me her aim was to get my mind off of my situation for a weekend, and it worked. I had such a good time and came back feeling refreshed and excited about life. It made me look even more forward to getting back to LA. The energy of big cities has always been good for me.

My two best friends in LA - They have been supportive as well from a distance. They have each dealt with break ups recently as well, so having that common ground has let us help each other and be helped by each other. We have kept in touch over the phone, and I know that when I go back there in a week they will assist in the continuation of my healing. It really blows my mind how many people are dealing with similar situations right now. Support systems are everything! Hang in there people and let your friends and family be there for you - it has done wonders for me.