So upon arriving at the airport, I was promptly scooped up and taken for beers at a Mexican place in West Hollywood by my two close friends. We had a great time catching up and declaring how it was great to have our little group back together again. We closed the joint down and I went to bed feeling positive and loved.
On Monday I began training for my new job. The job basically consists of me running the lights for a brand new club in Hollywood. I get to sit in the DJ booth and run the show for people on the dance floor to the beats of the music. It's a great gig for me; music has always been a huge influence in my life. I have been to a lot of shows and festivals, and I did just date a musician in a signed rock band. While I was back east, I didn't listen to much since so many tunes reminded me of my ex - she performed a lot of covers during her solo shows and it seemed as if I couldn't turn on the radio without hearing something that caused me to think of her. This job will allow me access to fresh stuff from DJs and will help me get back into enjoying the social atmosphere and music of clubs. My first night actually working was last night, and it happened to be the opening night of the venue. I saw all of the American Idol judges (minus Ellen), a Lakers player, and apparently Pink turned up as well but I didn't see her. Like any new club in Hollywood, it is expected that stars will frequent it, at least for the first three months or so. I had a great time people watching and doing my thing.
As for what else I have done so far... let's see. A highlight the other day was picking lemons from a friend's tree. It was something I haven't done before and really enjoyed. You can smell the citrus right as they detach from the branch. I got myself a little bag of them and intend to make me some lemonade. Hey - when life gives you lemons, right?? Haha. I feel good. I organized a bar night on Hollywood Blvd on Tuesday and saw a bunch more people that I have always liked here. I really do feel fortunate (especially in a town like this) that I have been able to meet so many great friends that are genuinely happy to have me back.
Because organizing my life and work has been keeping me busy, I really haven't had much time to focus on my ex, which is ex-cellent. The only update I have on that front is this - one of my good friends had been sending her a few emails, checking on her and stuff. My ex calls this girl one of her best friends too, but would not respond to any of the emails. This caused said friend to become annoyed and write another email expressing disappointment in my ex's lack of ability to take five seconds out of her day to reply. Interestingly, my ex replied to that one shortly after, saying that she understood my friend being upset, and that the reason she has kept quiet is because she owes me a large email and is stuck with what to say; she didn't want to reply to our friends before she replied to me so it wouldn't look like I wasn't a top priority or whatever. So apparently she is still trying to find words to reply to that message I sent her over two weeks ago now, that she was going to "respond to at her earliest convenience". It made me feel good to know that she is putting in some sort of effort. She isn't usually one to become stuck with words though, which leads me to believe that maybe she is going to fess up to being with "F" or something. I have so much going on, I don't let that get to me so much anymore. I will be interested to see what she says, if she ever does find the words.
I just read your entire blog beginnig to end...thank you. After 6 years, my girlfriend broke up with me. She just stopped coming home. She wouldn't take my calls and only came around when she knew I was at work. So I took vacation days in hopes of running into her when she around. It was awful...I couldn't eat, sleep or think. I knew she was at her mom's, so I would drive by just to know if she was there. If she wasn't I would let my mind wander and could imagine her with someone else or doing things we used to do together. Now, almost 3 months later, I still hurt, but the best thing for me was being totally cut off. Although I felt like I was going crazy, I had no knowledge of where she was or who she was with...in an odd way it helped. Now I see her every now and again, it still hurts and I will never forgive her for how she did it, but I don't cry. I know it will get better and your blog has helped me believe that. What I would say to you is, don't worry about her or "F"...you deserve better! Good luck and thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Karre.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading.
Women huh?? What the hell? I am sorry your ex put you through that, six years is a long time and that alone deserves the relationship more respect than someone just disappearing... But yes - being cut off was what helped me too. And in my case, since my ex is across the world, I don't have to run into her, which is nice. I used to think that was the worst part of the whole thing - that I couldn't see her and didn't have the chance of running into her, but the more of my own friends I see dealing with breakups, the better I now know it is that my ex will not be tangible again, at least for awhile. I am about 4 months along in my healing, and it definitely gets better. Do you guys talk at all when you run into each other? If you have read my latest post, you will know my ex just reached out to me again. Sigh. We will see what happens; I know nothing will change, but I would love some explanation of things as closure. I like to think I deserve better. It sounds like you do too. Ms. Right is out there somewhere, stay strong!
Dr. Lez B.
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