The Concept of Time

I have received a number of responses here and from the people I know personally that echo the concept of allowing time to help in the healing process. I of course realize that this is pivotal and necessary for any healing process, and I would like to expand on the idea a little more.

I agree that going through a breakup is in some ways similar to mourning a death. It is the "death of the relationship" after all. When you lose a loved one, many of the same emotions come to the surface - anger, sadness, denial, regret. However, in my opinion, a breakup can almost be worse. A loved one that dies did not do so by choice (most of the time), and because of that, it's nobody's fault. When you are mourning a break up, the emotions already listed reveal themselves, and are joined by others such as rejection, a lack of self esteem, and many many more. You may blame yourself for what happened, you may blame your ex. Either way, because they still exist and so do you, the emotions are harder to feel and then let go of. Chances are you may bump into them again. I know in the past, whenever I have seen one ex or another, many of the feelings I thought were gone and done with still have a mischievous way of manifesting themselves again to a degree. Not much you can do about that.

So yes, time will of course help feelings and emotions get pushed down a bit, will get them further away from the surface, but can they ever go away for good? I don't know. Imagine if a relative you loved and thought was dead suddenly reappeared in your life again somehow. Just something to think about. So on that note, what about the love you had or still have for your ex? We have already discussed that time can help heal or at least lessen the bad feelings, but what of the good? I believe love is an amazing emotion, one of the only that I can think of that can be truly unconditional. As I mentioned in one of my comments, we know that love can withstand so much - betrayal, lying, cheating, the list goes on.... How many people do you know that have been in relationships where something crap had happened and the couple was able to pull through it and remain together? It happens people. All the time. My point here is that I don't think love dies with a break up. How many of your exes still tell you they love you from time to time, even if it is in a drunk text? Love that is real remains, somewhere within us, even if it gets buried. True love never dies, especially if you believe in it.

A little more than a month into my break up journey, time has helped for sure. I cry less when I talk about my ex, and that is good. I can function and have my appetite back, and that is good. I stopped feeling sorry for myself because I got sick of it and am trying to move forward with my life, and that is good too. Time has made this possible. Do I think of her less frequently though? Nope. Do I love her any less? Nope. Will these things change in another month or two? I don't know. I suppose time will tell.