Then I regressed a bit. I had begun receiving information that my ex may be seeing another girl already, and this girl had been a "mutual friend" of ours. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What made it worse was that as the days progressed, I found out more and more disturbing information. An example of this is that my ex had been seen at a bar, the day after I left, with this other girl on her lap. At a party a week later, they were supposedly telling people that they were "really enjoying each other's company and seeing what happened" and "not hiding it, but not really putting it out there either, if that makes sense." Wtf?? Could it be that my ex had concocted a scenario to remove me, and made the premise of it seem like she was doing it as a sacrifice to help me help my own life? I didn't know what to think. My sources were mutual friends that respected me enough to let me know what may be going on. But the information they told me was from their observation and the other girl's mouth, not my ex's.
As I had said before, my ex and I had a great relationship. No problems, no fights. I suppose it is possible that my ex could have developed feelings for this other girl, but why not be honest with me about it? And the whole reason our breakup conversation came about was because I had voiced my own insecurities with my life, and that enabled her to voice hers. I had even asked her if her decision to leave me was for another, and she said no. What would she gain by lying to me? Could she really be ready to give her heart to another? I thought I knew her really well, and I know she feels emotions very deeply. It just didn't seem like she could turn her love off for me and instantly be alright to be with someone else.
Now for some background on this "mutual friend". We will call her "F" for discussion purposes. She is in her upper 20s, and had been "out" for just over a year. She was engaged to a man for 5 years previously from what I understand. This makes her very immature in terms of lesbian relationships, and clearly etiquette. She has a habit of going after girls with girlfriends, and actually said to her ex, "I have the cockiness, confidence, and capability to break up any couple." Now what kind of person thinks that, let alone says that?? Couldn't my ex see what kind of person she was?
I have also learned that at a recent group dinner, my ex and "F" arrived together and left early together. I was made aware however that whenever "F" made a move to put her hand on my ex's leg or whatever, my ex would promptly remove it. This could be for one of two reasons - that my ex wanted nothing to do with her, or that there was in fact something going on, but my ex was at least being classy enough to not want to make that obvious in front of people we both know for fear of it getting back to me. My sources however, are convinced there is definitely something going on. As they are on the other side of the world, I realize I can do nothing about it either way. I just have a hard time getting my head around the fact that it could be happening. I want to believe that my ex left me for the reasons she said, which appeared to be so selfless. I don't want to doubt that now. Maybe my ex is just in need of friends, and "F" just so happens to be making herself available at every moment. I am aware of "F"'s intentions though, because she makes them no secret. It really is awful when people turn out to be shit friends. This is torture.
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