Passive Aggressive Social Networking

OK, so I was a little passive aggressive yesterday in my social networking. Weakness happens. The result was my ex deciding to no longer follow me on twitter. That made me sad. I hadn't written anything horrible, just a comment that was directed at no one in particular, along the lines of "making sure people around you did not only view you as a conquest". It could have applied to my life - in fact, I would like it to. Apparently my ex took it personally. Or it could have been just hard for her to read. Maybe she thought about it too much or saw it as an attack. Either way, I was unhappy about the result. Is it wrong to post one's feelings? I know it makes it difficult, but my ex has already cut off other communications from me, why that too? Twitter is harmless, and I thought she might care to check in on me every now and then to see how or what I am doing. My friends tell me it's probably a healthy thing, and I can agree with that to an extent, but it was still disappointing.

Then there's more. So I have been reading a philosophical novel for the past few weeks. Amongst the ideals in said novel are how selfishness doesn't lead to happiness and how anything that begins impurely amounts to nothing, stuff like that, so my Facebook posts have reflected these types of thoughts. They are really concepts I agree with wholeheartedly, as my resolution for New Year's this year was to be true to myself and to others. Yes, fine, I guess they could apply to my angst about the possible situation of "F" taking my ex from me. Either way, the concepts reflect my life musings as of late. Yesterday "F" posted something about how Facebook status slander was immature and any questions should be asked to those involved in a situation directly. I took this to mean that she was feeling some type of guilt/annoyance from my posts. She posted it shortly after I had put up a new one of mine. Not my problem. I don't have any questions for her, and all of my posts have had a universal meaning to my life and for others to consider. I pressed the "like" button to her post. Ha.

Maybe "F" is on to the fact I know something. Maybe she is paranoid. She will get no satisfaction from me either way. I will continue to post my new learned ideals on occasion. She can go ahead and "de-friend" me if she wishes, I personally think I owe her no more respect than what she has shown to me. I wonder if she is whining about it to my ex. Her insecurities and guilt are hers to carry. Although my ex has stopped following me on twitter, she has not de-friended me on Facebook yet (isn't it lame how this really affects people? I apologize for the lameness, but I can't help it right now). Maybe that will be the next step. Maybe she will email me the truth at some point. Maybe nothing will change. I am not trying to hurt my ex at all, but I do think "F" needs to sit with herself and think about her actions and how the universe will pay her back someday. I am sure that it will.

Anyway, take this as a lesson of what is probably not smart to do after a break up. Temptations to lash out are constant, especially when you think you may be being viewed as the fool. I don't have the urge to lash out at my ex, just "F" because she is so arrogant and smug about everything. I suppose for me to truly let go I need to make sure her crappy character isn't a focus for me anymore. I need to let the universe do its job. I just get impatient.